We live in a dramatic and traumatic culture. We will experience fear, lack, loss, disease, constraints, struggle. Everyone has some micro-traumas and maybe full-blown traumas, and society still doesn’t seem to be able to deal with broken communal systems and new family structures that evolved since 70s really. Not saying that living in close quarters of multi-generational strict families is always healthy and freedoms of every generation are bound to take strong roots sooner than later. Rightfully so. The consequence that had to follow however, was throwing with a bath water people that became spare. Working and commuting put so much strain on most families, that a radical split emerged: those who grasped the elderly to help with kids and household, and those who preferred to enjoy privacy of a free life choices, having cut the cords to elderly, siblings and in-laws.
The ones that found themselves on the margin of healthy family life, had to learn through deep mental valleys to either find love/purpose/social belonging or die/deteriorate. Yes, we humans can, and do, think ourselves into dying spiral, should we not participate in healing love.
Strong, single and independent are not the examples of longevity that might have been. If we see these types, they usually had an extraordinary larger-than-life purpose stemming from previous traumatic-like experiences. For an ‘ordinary’ person Love is a Healer – biologically foremost, psychologically and socially as well, as happy brain creates all sorts of ‘miracles’, which are natural processes in the body, whether we understand them or not.
Life partners, children, grandchildren, best friends, make the Life worth living, in best health.
This is true, if we are able, through self-development and past experiences, come to the clear understanding of who we are, how we can be self-dependent, content, forgiving, positive, helpful, giving, self-loving and open to the new. Only then we can find the best relationships, where we are not exploited, dependent, always caregivers, always disadvantaged. Relationships must not be draining, they need to be nourishing to both sides, for best living.
In highly toxic, damaging relationships cutting, ghosting, cancelling may be necessary. However that type of culture implemented lightly and wide, is only hurting and traumatic to both sides and cannot ever return the time for Love that’s lost forever from precious and short Life. The losing parties are wise to find another engaged love as a healer and purpose creator, a vehicle to thriving happiness.